cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/70827890
Few adult men are killed by adult women. Our fear is real
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On the one hand, I agree. On the other hand, most men do not understand that to be a woman means constantly being in danger.
"But not all men are-" I know. Everyone knows. There's good people of every gender, that's not in question. The problem is that people keep saying "Not all men" in direct response to women expressing that they don't feel safe. Same energy as telling a black person "All lives matter".
There's the men this meme is about, and there's the men this meme is for, and the venn diagram is two separate circles. The assholes with the podcasts aren't going to understand, because they're the problem. They think that by being nice they're entitled to sex, and then get vindictive when no sex. Most everyone else doesn't understand because the thought of being such a douch doesn't occur to them.
While it’s not an “excuse”, I think the “explanation” tends to be that speech from Nick in Zootopia: If people are going to regard you as shifty and untrustworthy, why bother being anything else.
Like I said, not a valid reason, but I do see how that toxic manosphere grows through fear.
I'm sure that's a significant part of it too
I don't think this is entirely accurate. The equivalent of an "all lives matter" person is a "men have issues too" person, not a "not all men" person. The first two are from people taking issue with advocacy for one group (black people; women) because they see it as exclusionary of or harmful to their group (white people; men)*. In contrast, "not all men" people are responding to a percieved attack directed at them, not just to being excluded from targeted advocacy. Subtly but meaningfully different, imo.
* Technically non-black people and non-women, I suppose? But this is the general pattern I've recognized.
My analogy isn't perfect, but I think it holds up well enough to make my point.
Woman: "I'd like to not be sexually harassed when I go out in public."
Man: "I feel personally attacked by this statement."
Black person: "I'd like to not be killed by a cop today."
White person: "I feel personally attacked by this statement."
It's good enough to make the point, but inaccuracies add up, so I always try to correct the ones I percieve, however small.
that's fair