The worst part... it works. E.g. on me, and i know. It is difficult to see these kind of posts, which are clearly misandry, and then hear people deny the trend for misandry, especially online.

OBVIOUSLY there is a shit tonne of misogyny, especially online and that is a big problem. But we shouldn't ignore the trend to misandry. It is not a competition and we fight against misogyny better if we fight sexism in general, I believe.

But the posts make me feel like a shocking amount of people are not against sexism but just misogyny. How am I supposed to feel like those are not my enemy when I am opposed to sexism?

Then I spend time with the people that I love and I am good again but... it is fucking poison.

While I do agree with your sentiment I think its critical we work thru the issue so the rich can't use it against us. Somehow get to an understanding that men and women face issues, both should be supported.

There's still too many men who can't understand why a woman would ever choose the bear.

While it’s not an “excuse”, I think the “explanation” tends to be that speech from Nick in Zootopia: If people are going to regard you as shifty and untrustworthy, why bother being anything else.

Like I said, not a valid reason, but I do see how that toxic manosphere grows through fear.

The problem is that people keep saying “Not all men” in direct response to women expressing that they don’t feel safe. Same energy as telling a black person “All lives matter”.

I don't think this is entirely accurate. The equivalent of an "all lives matter" person is a "men have issues too" person, not a "not all men" person. The first two are from people taking issue with advocacy for one group (black people; women) because they see it as exclusionary of or harmful to their group (white people; men)*. In contrast, "not all men" people are responding to a percieved attack directed at them, not just to being excluded from targeted advocacy. Subtly but meaningfully different, imo.

* Technically non-black people and non-women, I suppose? But this is the general pattern I've recognized.