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My wife and I were together 10 years before I realized I was trans and started transitioning, and she thinks of me as a totally separate individual from my pretransition self. In her mind, she is married to current me, and we had to take down our wedding photos because it upset her to see her ex-husband plastered on our walls. We also both pretty regularly say [deadname] was an asshole, like that person isn't me. Does anyone else's partner compartmentalize like this after you transitioned during your relationship?

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I've been out as trans for so long that most of my memorable accomplishments were either before wrong puberty (so I was just a almost-genderless child) or after I started social transition (way before hrt). In between, was a few years of middle school and high school which were only memorable because of excessive amounts of homework that got me to learn more programming and try on programming socks.

this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2026
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