Do women know of a man has feelings for them? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 12 hours ago by solidheron@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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So I got feeling for a woman that I share a hobby with and I run into her fairly regularly, she also surprises and impresses me.

She probably knows I have feelings because I said I care about her over text (out of legitimate concern). Now I'm catching myself laughing at the things she says and I actually asked her to calm down because I was laughing at her and another person going at it while im high on an edible in the courthouse.

Like I haven't pursue a relationship. She has a boyfriend and I'm learning healthy relationships (I used to be more antisocial).

I do feel like I come off as a friend,but I feel like women know mens feelings

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[-] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

Probably not, but she might cheat. Would you still want her if that were true, though? Should you?

[+] solidheron@sh.itjust.works -10 points 11 hours ago

I don't Care if she cheats? I'm fine with the idea of her being polyamorous

[-] Shamyase@jlai.lu 4 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

You are more attracted by the idea, the possibility of her, than by her.

That is immensely irrespectful of her, and we as women know far too much the toxicity and behavior that comes from this kind of reasoning - you may end up possessive and abusive.

Follow other comments : get your shit together, look at the situation with honesty and maturity, and stop projecting your fantasms on someone who didn't ask for it.

[-] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago

I like how she's good at communication and I do find her hilarious. Before I had any feelings for her I thought she was an honest person that puts out who she is for everyone to see. She used to be 1 of many people in a social group.

[-] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 5 points 9 hours ago

Bring polyamorous is not the same as cheating while in a committed monogamous relationship. If she cheats it means she can't be trusted.

[-] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago

I trust her now. Women can fall for temptation. Idk anything about partners or relationships

[-] thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de 0 points 9 hours ago

Those two things are not the same. Quite the opposite in fact.

Others have already said that it's a huge assumption to think of her as polyamorous without any proof, but I'll add that if you think cheating and being polyamorous are the same thing you should read something about polyamory.

[-] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago

Do people even read what I said. I'm not conflating cheating with being polyamorous

[-] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 0 points 10 hours ago

Dude, never ignore cheating. If she cheats, even with you, it means that it can happen again and nothing is stopping her from cheating with someone else while being with you.

[-] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 hours ago

I'm not ignoring cheating. I'm just apathetic to her cheating. At this point her cheating would be having consentual sex with another adult (not referring to myself). I've only seen her boyfriend at one event. Idk man seems like people can love multiple people

this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2026

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