Misogynistic trans guys keep showing up at our center? (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by kristina@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

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All of these guys tend to be younger, it seems to be a new trend cause we didn't have issues like this 10 years ago. They'll come in, talk only to other gay guys, and exclude women (incl trans women) from all conversations to the point it becomes very awkward. This has happened 3 times in the past 2 years or so. We had an event recently and we had a handful of trans people show up. I tried to talk to everyone to just say hi (I'm the organizer after all) and the guy just stared at me?? Then one of the sweetest trans ladies there talked to me about how she was trying to get contact details for people so we could, y'know, be a community, and the guy apparently told her that all of his chats and local groups for trans men were men only and that they had so many issues with trans women trying to make LGBT spaces all about them so they only let trans men in. She was just looking for people to hang out with! The lack of solidarity here was shocking to me.

Maybe it's some social media thing? Over compensation? Idfk. Shits getting weird.

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[-] Renin@hexbear.net 30 points 1 day ago

I might be overly blunt here I hope I'm not, but if you want to run a non-discriminatory mixed gender space then this has to be addressed. If someone feels mad about being excluded and their response is to exclude people there's unresolved issues.

Does it mean I am against them having a men only space? No. Being transgender is difficult enough already. But your space isn't women only, is it? So why are you getting the blame for it?

Being a victim doesn't give anyone free pass to take it out on others. That's not justice. Justice means resolving the problem between the people involved in the incident and keep it contained to the incident. I know that this is unsatisfying answer, but I really don't think there is a satisfying answer.

Ultimately the question is: Are the guys using their space for healing so that they're capable of interacting with other people, in a non-discriminatory fashion, provided they themselves get equal treatment, or do they want to be dudes only club for the rest of days?

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The last couple times the problem solved itself (they left cause we are a community not a gay bar basically) but if I see him again I'll give him a stern talking to

this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2026

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