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this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2026
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I just assume everyone who talks to me over a call where I can't see them is just touching themselves. Friends? Touching themselves. Family members? Touching themselves. Boss telling me my work schedule? Definitely touching themself.
Scam callers are too I'll bet.
Someone once called me scamming and pretending to be from the social security administration. This is the amerikkkan version of "what if we had a pension fund for all seniors, and defunded it?". I stayed on hold and told them to go fuck themselves. They replied "you first". It's possible that this person was touching theirself, but I think it was really nice that they encouraged me to touch myself as well.