Its just about how you feel honestly. I dont think your line of thinking is consistent.
Are people victims of material circumstance or not? Do people get deluded by the environments forced on them by capitalists or not?
It kind of sounds like you expect people to fall into a good vs evil binary and that you couldn't have possibly be a evil-doer because you are innately something. Which in my opinion, is not how a Marxist would think.
Don't get me wrong. Fuck the troops, fuck the wars but if we're talking about building consciousness I don't think your way works and is even counter productive.