What is the process of becoming a father minus a partner? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago by nicgentile@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I'm beginning to accept that I may never be in a relationship again. There are life expectations I have for myself, some admittedly selfish, but really, the idea of having to deal with another grownup who is as obstinate as I am has left me disillusioned about relationships. But I want to have kids. I want to be a father. For women, its fairy easy, go to a sperm bank, pick your choice, get the procedure done and you are on your way. What is the process for dudes? I believe its going to involve a surrogate, but where does one get a donor egg and what not? I am not looking to have a relationship with an egg donor or the surrogate, just me and the kids.

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[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

First of all: when it comes to relationships:

not all women.

not all men.

not all people.

Second of all: if you think that was bad you havent seen how teenagers get with their parents yet. and that little girl still goes home and have tantrums you dont have to deal with regardless of how cute the bow is.

So you might benefit from some therapy around relationships before embarking on fatherhood. Especially if you have had limited experience with some difficult people and think raising a teenager is going to be any easier or nicer. And you're going to wish you had another adult to tag team just to have a time out from with a kid at any age. cuz you cant divorce that kid just cuz they are having a 'difficult phase'.

[-] nicgentile@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

From what I've experienced, I'd say being with the kids has been far more easier. I don't have limited experience with difficult people, I have a crap load of experience dealing with difficult people. I've lived that life, and I am not going back. Yes, I get that kids would not be a "divorce" away, and I am ok with that. I was a kid too, and maybe I've been an asshole, but I have never woken up intending to hurt or trick someone. Neither do these kids so far, outside of trying to get candy and going for movie nights.

[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

OH HAHAHA HAHA ...you... you think its easier??

you dont think a teenager wont just say shit to hurt your feelings?

you havent experienced a teenage girl threaten that she will crawl out the bedroom window at 2am, get pregnant and make you raise the child . for what reason you might ask? for no other reason other than her being born and having a bad period/you bought the wrong cereal. and shes 11. threatening to get raped on the street.

and thats after you gave her everything, education, sex ed, food, been there for them.

this is true stories bro. this is true parenthood.

you cannot say i didnt warn you.

think: this person can hurt you the deepest and you are 100% responsible for everything they do. up to and including killing a person after they stole a scooter on your credit card. that is 100% on you.

another adult pulling this shit you can easily extract yourself. you arent lawfully responsible.

teenagers: nope. not as easy. you remain lawfully responsible for everything they do.

this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2026

39 points (78.3% liked)

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