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this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2026
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Whatever you decide to do, remember this: You have spent a lot more time thinking about this than they have.
Keep it simple, don’t overwhelm them, don’t talk about the far future, and don’t have this conversation in a place where they can feel trapped or coerced.
If I were to do it. I'd tell them I love them and think about them
I've been in a similar situation and believe you. Still don't say it until you're dating, there are plenty of good people who will be scared if you say it too soon.
Do not, under any circumstances, use the L word. You do not love them, you may be infatuated, but do not confuse those two. That is a surefire way to drive them away.
Even if OP understands their own feelings and does love this person they do know, it's still a bad idea to say that now.
That's a really bad idea. Don't do it.
Even if this person likes you and enjoys your company, they won't appreciate it. It'll make them feel uncomfortable and wary of you. As others have said, love is way too big a word for someone you're not in a relationship with.
I know you mean well, but read about love bombing and why it's bad.
As an aside, be mindful of why you feel you love them. Have you been harboring those feelings for a long time without expressing them? Did you build a future with them in your head? Some of those things can come off as staker-ish if dumped on someone, making them feel you've included them in something without their input.
Yeah, love is only for people you're in a relationship with and those you aren't seeking a relationship with. You can say you love your best friend, but if you start dating them, while the intensity of your feelings for each other may increase, the relationship is back to an early stage, just in a new track. You haven't built that track up enough for that word to feel safe and comfortable.
When you're pining over a friend you're partly thinking of them in the romantic relationship track. This means professing love doesn't just come off as "I care deeply for you" or "I'm interested in romance", it comes off as "we're getting pretty serious in my head, you should get in on it."
In general mismatched feelings are deeply uncomfortable and the more mismatched they are the less comfortable.
Oh. Oh, no.
Remember when I said that you have been thinking about this a lot more than they probably have? This is exactly what I mean.
If you actually love this person and you think they may not feel the same way, then what do you think will happen when you drop this bomb on them?
A lot of times the need to tell someone you love them is a selfish act while unconditionally loving someone is a selfless act.
Meditate on why you need to tell them.
Hopefully they tell me they don't feel the same or that they feel something.
Hopefully they would appreciate that they have my love
People do not appreciate having the love of people they don't feel the same towards. It's awkward and it feels like an obligation or expectation. It makes you overanalyze every interaction and want to pull back.
"Hey, I've been developing some feelings for you and was wondering if you felt the same way?" - normal, low expectation, allows rejection or acceptance without pressure
"I love you (and want a romantic relationship)" - intense and uncomfortable, high expectation, high pressure, may leave them wondering if you'll take no for an answer
I realized that if someone was young enough and expressed their interest I'd be weirded out by that
They won't appreciate it. This is a VERY bad idea.
😱 Oh no, dear! DO NOT DROP THAT BOMB!
Interesting people don't think I should say it
🤣🤣🤣🤣 i'm dying
I'm lost
Hello, lost. I love you!
No.