I never had that struggle because back when I was struggling to make relationships last, I didn't know I had ADHD.

Luckily I met someone who could understand me and be patient with me like nobody ever had. And conversely, I understand him and I am patient with him like nobody has ever done. And the catch is what seems to be a common pattern for us ND folks - he's neurodivergent as well, which is what made things about a million times easier.

Just like queer people have a "gaydar", it's useful to tune in to your inner ND-radar, which for me has become easier as I read and understand more not just about ADHD but Autism, for example.

For me this has totally made my relationships easier - not in terms of finding a prospective partner because that happened before I knew, but it can help adapt your communication with friends/coworkers/managers/customers/etc. When I know somebody is autistic, I am extra conscious to not use any sarcasm, double meanings, or rely on implied context. For neurotypicals, I try to go to the point and drip feed the context if and when needed. For ADHD people I am careful we don't go down rabbit holes for too long, but I frontload the context for my request/topic so that their brain has the big picture to work with.

Trust me, statistically you're far more likely than not to find good friendships and a loving partner - you just don't have a neurotypical brain chemistry so don't hold yourself to neurotypical timelines for that to happen.