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[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I hate that this is so accurate. I also hate that rightwingers would kill at cheesy C&C vids :rage-cry:

Right now I'm imagining alex-aware as the Russian president during the Red Alert 2 intro, just yelling into the phone at the Americans. kubrick-stare would brief me about our tattered US defenses and that I need to get a base up to counter the Russian assault.

EDIT:

alex-oopsie "LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY! I AM NOT YOUR PET MR. PRESIDENT! We Romanovs have our legacy to consider!"

debate-me-debate-me "Facts don't give a wooden nickel about your feelings, Alex!"

Fuck, another EDIT:

Candace Owens would be that secret agent that backstabs everybody and we eventually find out she's working for Kane. The Fox News cast would be the fumbling on-the-ground grunts reporting that they are getting hammered. The My Pillow Guy would be that hapless Soviet general that is "sacrificed" by Ms^[but not miss charlie-kirk] Kirk because of a power struggle.

I have to stop because I could do this all day and I have work to do! :thonk-cri:

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

I also hate that rightwingers would kill at cheesy C&C vids

It's because all of these people doing an extremely poor job of acting but you notice it less until you stick them on a C&C background where it's incredibly obvious what B movie acting they're doing

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

There is a better timeline^[with world peace and puppies and gay space socialism and...] where all these nerds are all making Red Alert 5 videos and we are all hyped to play it.

[-] SirSmoothAES@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 1 week ago

Pete Hegseth is a C&C character come to life

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

He's the American general that will turn on us because we made him look bad after the Soviet attack.

[-] Frivolous_Beatnik@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

rightwingers would kill at cheesy C&C vids

Can't forget this classic

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

How could I forget Peterson?! up-yours-woke-moralists That video is 100% accurate. He absolutely would be your opponent for the Soviet campaign!

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

this post was submitted on 07 May 2026
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