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I'd watch a movie about that (thelemmy.club)

submitted 1 day ago by RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] red_tomato@lemmy.world 91 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Another movie pitch:

Due to management decision, a code freeze has been mandated to the main branch. 50 feature branches have accumulated waiting to be merged.

Management has now finally approved to lift the code freeze - but only for 24 hours. Will the poor engineering team manage to merge all feature branches in time?

[-] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Here's one for a TV show.

In 2022, a crack quality assurance team was made redundant by a CTO for a botched product launch they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximally unstable job market to the LinkedIn underground.

Today, still wanted by recruiters, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a broken codebase, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the QA-team.

[-] marlowe221@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

You are amazing, you beautiful lemmy stranger, you.

[-] kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago

DO DODO DO DOO DOO. DO DODO DO DO

[-] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

I am ramping a vehicle onto its roof in celebration

[-] grue@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Merging all the feature branches in time is easy.

Having the project compile afterwards is hard.

[-] otter@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 day ago

Is there a robust test suite?

Merge, test, merge, test, patch, merge, test

[-] Miaou@jlai.lu 5 points 20 hours ago

If by test you mean wait for customers to yell at us, it's super robust

[-] red_tomato@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago

Only some of the new code does. Unfortunately, most of the code base is 10 years old written in the good ol’ Anarchy Driven Programming paradigm.

[-] harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 day ago

The test suite takes 24 hours to run fully.

[-] ugo@feddit.it 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Very easy: merge everything, fix after the feature freeze. It’s a feature freeze, not a bugfix freeze.

Edit: wait you said code freeze, my bad. Still, merge everything. If stuff doesn’t work after the freeze, management will unfreeze for fixes. Or they freeze a non-working product. Do stupid management, get stupid results. Not on me to make idiotic processes work.