flipping to the Op-Ed section

For Once, We Fight With an Equal Ally

The war against Iran is different. As of Monday, Central Command reports that the United States had struck over 7,000 targets inside Iran. Israel, for its part, had carried out some 7,600 strikes, according to a representative of the Israeli military. This may be the first time since the Second World War that Washington has had an equal partner with which to share the burdens of war.

Your two options in news are

• Something happened! Read about it in the passive voice.

and

• Yeah, we fucking did it, and we've never been happier.