Me: 2008, him: 1993, big red flag? What should I watch out for? (lemmy.today)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by violet08@lemmy.today to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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edit: the date isn't happening anymore. he texted me asking if we could change the venue as he realized he can't really afford that restaurant at the moment (???, why was this realization so last minute) & i told him no worries i can pay for everything. he told me no way i could ever let a girl pay, it's not fair to the girl and also "emasculating" to him. hate that attitude. called it off and cut contact. thank u, next.

So I hit this guy up on Insta, and we’ve been chatting for the past few days, calling and video calling and all that. Tonight he’s taking me out to dinner; just a date, nothing more. I talk to my parents about everything, and they told me to observe his behavior but keep an open mind.

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[-] devolution@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I consider myself an old man at this point being the right old age of 43 and I think older men creeping on little girls, and I’m sorry but I consider girls under 30 little girls, gross.

[-] oopsgodisdeadmybad@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

They don't have to be "little girls" for you to feel they're too young. I'm close to your age, and prefer a much tighter age gap than most, (I'd be okay with mid 30s, with a little wiggle room depending on the person) but I don't think of 20 somethings as little girls. That just feels gross thinking that way.

Not saying that's how you meant it, but they're not "girls" in their 20s. They're young women. It gives infantilizing.

The young side of what you consider appropriate shouldn't be the end of "little girl" age.

this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2026

24 points (77.3% liked)

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