this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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chapotraphouse

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Oh no, my miserable life that’s devoid of any connection and anyone altogether otherwise *at least contains a friend.

What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

It's kind of alien to me too, the idea of being someone's friend being taken as a social rejection (which more often than not means no longer talking to that person) because no le sexy sex will occur. what-the-hell

Yes, it's disappointing when someone doesn't reciprocate romantic/sexual attraction. For me the alien part is "therefore cut that person entirely out." If it wasn't intended to be a hook-up all along, it makes the entire social bond seem sus in hindsight to me.

In my experience, actually accepting a non-romantic friendship often results in additional friendships with that friend's friends if that friend actually likes you non-romantically, and sometimes those can bloom into romance anyway, often at the first friend's encouragement/recommendation. Don't do it for that reason (transactional thinking is a fuck) but my point is that fatalistically seeing "the friend zone" as some evil bad thing is self-fulfilling prophecy.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I will say, a lot of men's "friendships" are, uh, surface level and very emotionally unfulfilling.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Fuck, isn't that the truth. I fell in love the first time largely because she would/could actually talk with me about feelings and fears and I felt seen as a person for the first time.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

no more half measures walter

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

you always dropping the wisdom round these parts