I hope you don’t. In my case nothing helped so I had my lower intestine removed. The made a facsimile with a section of small intestine and re-plumbed me. It was during that recovery period that I went on TPN to effectively reduce the usage of my digestive system.

TPN is Total Parenteral Nutrition. Basically it’s a large bag of glucose, lipids, vitamins and minerals that is fed through a PICC line (in you upper arm) directly above your heart for thorough dilution and distribution through your bloodstream. An external peristaltic pump doses it into you throughout the day. It’s a trip, albeit cumbersome. Oh, and it does spikeTF out of your blood sugars so you have to take insulin during the process, which sucks.

Ha, oh man. When I finally got unplugged from everything, about two weeks later, I sorta sprinted up a small flight of stairs and felt every muscle in my legs tearing. It was a very strange and uncomfortable feeling. It probably hurt a lot but they had me on some gnarly painkillers. I did feel it the next day though when I got home. That was about 13 years ago. I hope they have better treatments for it now than surgery. It seemed like a better option than Remicade at the time. Oh well, what’s done is done. Basically back to normal after all this time.