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How to actually train yourself to reconnect with emotions (slrpnk.net)
submitted 5 months ago by SolarBoy@slrpnk.net to c/cptsd@lemmy.ml
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So I was recently told to try a loving-kindness exercise, and found it very difficult to follow the instructions.

So basically they have you first sit comfortably, Then you try to remember a person or situation you felt warm being loved (or loving) And then you want to focus on the feeling that this gives you. And finally think of a person you want to share this feeling with.

But I'm already stuck in the second part. I can't really remember something good that happened to me that would actually cause a feeling.

I just don't really notice any change.

Did anybody find a way to actually feel anything by thinking back on something? Or in any other way?

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[-] rhk@piefed.social 2 points 3 months ago

The most direct way this changes is usually by some type of intentional "approach" (ie not avoidance) of the hardest to tolerate memories and feelings - which seems to let your brain realize they are actually tolerable (now, in a safe environment, etc - there may well have been a reason for avoiding them before). When people do this (often with a therapist) numbing tends to go down.

Not the only option or anything! But often the most direct one.

[-] SolarBoy@slrpnk.net 2 points 3 months ago

Sounds very much like what I should try to do. The only thing is that I don't seem to remember anything. Or at least nothing with an emotional load.

I can't really trigger any memory. Sometimes I notice I'm feeling overwhelmed when my partner would scold me. But it still doesn't make me remember anything, just feel very bad. And it's not really consistent. Some days I'm fine with it.

[-] rhk@piefed.social 2 points 2 months ago

Ah, yeah, that can be a challenge. It's something that comes up for sure, but it's hard to give a general answer to.  If there are memories that must people would consider likely traumatic but they feel kind of numbed out too that's often something a good therapist can coach you through - but it's pretty individual.  

Another option to consider is looking through some of the DBT handouts on recognizing and naming emotions, which have very concrete descriptions that include physical sensations etc - sometimes this can help if part is what's happening is you're feeling very cut off from emotions.

this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2025
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