I haven't had an actual relationship with the man since high school, and even then I always kept him at arms length. We never talk about anything that's important to me except for when I asked him to call me by my name and he can't do that I guess. He knows nothing about me. I'm seriously curious what he'd say if someone asked him to describe me. I don't think he'd get anything beyond the suface level right. I think I could say more about the girl at the coffee shop I buy chai at than my dad could say about me.

I send him songs every now and then which he ignores, and every couple of months he calls me and I give him a bullet point list of the interesting things that have happened since the last call, and that's it. That's my relationship with my dad. That's the totality.

So like he's just some guy, right? Literally just some guy I happen to be related to genetically and who has my phone number. Which would be cool if he was some guy I talked to who called me by name at the very least, but he doesn't even do that. So why do I indulge in his calls?

I really don't know how to explain this to him, but that's where I'm at.