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[-] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 100 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

No they're a Chinese plot to have every child become sleeper agents who will then unlock your front door so a Chinese soldier can come in and poop in your toilet, move your salt and pepper shaker and mess with your pillow configuration on your bed.

[-] degen@midwest.social 13 points 1 month ago

My honest, hard-working American feng shui!

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Those are all things my kid does without the help of a third party.

[-] halfdane@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago

Or so you think - dun dun duuuuun

[-] optissima@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You missed the CCP new 5 year plan, they're swapping the salt and sugar containers as well now

[-] JoeyHarrington@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

And mixing Skittles into the m&m's

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

When I was a kid, my cousin confused the salt and sugar containers and dumped a huge quantity of sugar on her pasta.

It was quite the to-do at that dinner.

[-] FiniteBanjo@feddit.online -2 points 1 month ago

Honestly, if Chinese operatives had the power to enter random US homes and kill people they would.

[-] AppleTea@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

Yes, militaries do tend to attract nationalistic psychos. The US Marines have done the same thing to many civilians. The have whole in-group rituals about it.

[-] FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Bu Bu Bu BUT HER EMAILS~!?!?!

this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2026
512 points (98.3% liked)

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