this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2023
236 points (97.6% liked)

Not The Onion

12200 readers
540 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

“The pole entered the victim’s head beneath his jaw and exited the other side of his head near his right temple area,” the release said.

“The American Flag was still attached (to) the pole at the time.” Due to the size of the pole, firefighters had to cut part of it off for the victim to fit into an ambulance, police said.

“Miraculously, we’re told the victim will survive his injuries, but will likely lose an eye,” the release said.

Amazing the guy lived. I hope he doesn't have too severe of a traumatic brain injury tho... TBIs can change people's personalities, make them more aggressive, or can be severe enough that they can no longer care for themselves/speak/have motor control.

That's why it's always important to wear a helmet and say fuck the haters. Just takes one wrong fall. Also, obligatory I love helmets!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Next time a crazed redneck stabs me in the head with a US flag, I'll make sure to put my helmet on first!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

The attacker said he deserved it, so obviously if he wasn't a great guy to begin with.