Why not just say "hey, you," "omg," or "woah"? These are all perfectly gender neutral phrases. What we're objecting to is using a very gendered word in place of gender neutral phrases and pretending like the word suddenly becomes gender neutral. Dude is a gendered word, and using it in place of gender neutral phrases, especially to someone who is not a dude, is exactly what is meant by "man by default" language
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