What is this guy thinking lmao ๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿค”

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[โ€“] 158 points 10 months ago (20 children)

If you're having sex with a woman, you're having sex with someone that likes dick. People who like dick are gay. Having sex with a gay person makes you gay.

Checkmate libtards.

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  • [โ€“] 42 points 10 months ago (10 children)

    Now I have to tell my wife I've been gay all these years.

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  • [โ€“] 26 points 10 months ago (9 children)

    The only way to stop being gay is to never touch her again, otherwise you're touching someone who has touched a dick and by the transitive property that makes you gay. Touching your wife is gay.

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  • [โ€“] 16 points 10 months ago (7 children)
  • [โ€“] 5 points 10 months ago* (5 children)

    Definitely. You're gay just for asking.

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  • [โ€“] 5 points 10 months ago (4 children)

    Ok, thanks for clarifying.

    I've got another...

    What about when you're out shopping and you're unloading the contents of the trolley onto the conveyor belt at the checkout and you accidentally touch your wife's box of tampons/panty liners?

    Does that make you gay??

    I guess you're already gay at that point for unloading the trolley

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  • [โ€“] 4 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Exactly. You're in the grocery store for something other than beer? Gay.

    And that ignores the fact that just buying feminine products makes you Uber-Queer.

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  • [โ€“] 3 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    I have an other.

    What if you are in a manly bar drinking manly beer. And you strike up a manly conversation with an other man about lumberjacking or something. And when you talk about sharpening your manly axe, you accidentally touch their hairy hand. Which causes your piercingly manly gazes to lock like the door on a sportscar.

    So you start talking about WWE and show each other how to perform a death grip with your arms tightly around each other. Then you want to test the strength of their lips, by giving them a manly kiss. And you carry them like a firefighter into a toilet stall to compare your manly leather underwear.

    And you end up fucking the shit out of each other.

    Is that gay?

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  • [โ€“] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    I'm guessing the logic is:

    Gay people only have sex for pleasure (because they can't reproduce), therefore, all sex for pleasure is gay.

    Its like saying fish only swim in water because they can't go on land, therefore, all creatures that swim are fish.

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  • [โ€“] 4 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Dear Aunt Agatha,
    I own a dick.
    I like to have my dick caressed by other dick-loving individual.
    What does that make me?
    Sincerely,
    All-out-now McJohnson

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  • [โ€“] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

    You said dick three times in your letter. If you say the word dick that means you're thinking of a dick, and that makes you gay.

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