I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.

Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!

You fucking what? Say that to my face

That’s probably right. I think they become recognizable as asperagus around 2 years in. We had some, about two years in when were in a mobile home park. Swapped owners so they hired new lawn keepers… who fucking killed them right when they were almost harvestable god I was so mad.

The greenhouses around me sell matured asparagus roots. Don't have to wait this way.

They grew wild up and down the ditch next to my dadas house when I was a kid - as weird to see just tons of asparagus every year

I'm sorry, I'm still in awe that anyone would hear that asparagus needs two years to grow enough for a viable harvest and still think it's worth doing