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[–] 49 points 1 year ago (16 children)

Oh no that’s not even them as babies. That’s like two years in.

This is baby asparagus. It takes forever to develop to actual asperagus stage.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    It takes several years, many seasons, much sun and rain for such a magnificent vegetable to grow to maturity and be ripe for the harvest.

    Unfortunately it tastes like ass, has the texture of twine and makes your piss stink.

    Vile weed.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.

    Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I tried many ways, my most successful was asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper and a light dusting of Parmesan cheese. Put it in the broiler until the cheese gets a tan. Finish with a tiny sprinkle of really fancy balsamic vinegar.

    While it was an improvement, the texture was still not something I ever found acceptable.

    Also, if you're using asparagus for smelly dick jokes, I am willing to withdraw my judgement.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    4 years isn't it? I looked into it back in the 90s, decided hell no. LOL, it was suggested to dig a 4' deep trench to plant them.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago

    That’s probably right. I think they become recognizable as asperagus around 2 years in. We had some, about two years in when were in a mobile home park. Swapped owners so they hired new lawn keepers… who fucking killed them right when they were almost harvestable god I was so mad.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    It's extremely low maintenance once it establishes though which is nice.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

    I'm sorry, I'm still in awe that anyone would hear that asparagus needs two years to grow enough for a viable harvest and still think it's worth doing

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