this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Excellent. For my next wellusion I'm going to put your minds back together. Using historical dialectics I actually knew SodaBitch was going to be here today. So I invited their boss up here. Come on up, Bossman!
Hey everybody. I just really love small businesses and metaphysical thought.
Oh wow, Bossman. I had noooo idea. I really was sick when I left work early, heheh.
Hahaha, I see you're more of an illusionist than myself, SodaBitch. Now, YourBelovedBoss, take out your wallet with all your cash that you own.
It's empty. All my money's gone?
turns wallet upside down and shakes it a little visibly
SodaBitch, take out your purse and show and tell the audience if you notice anything unusual.
There seems to be an extra $500 in there.
Exactly! That's the surplus value that your boss has stolen from you over the past 4.125 days! On top of your wage they had you work roughly twice as long throughout the day to pay their own "wage" in the form of profits! I made it appear through wellness magic and dialectics back into your own wallet.
Oh wowwww. This is great. But aren't wellusionists supposed to never reveal their tricks?
That's just your average, fascist illusionist. Us wellusionists don't need to hide our magic because it's real and observable all around us, all the time, through dialectical materialism.
Thanks, FuckYourself! Is it OK to call you that?