this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Do you fuck dudes? What do people assume when you tell other people that you fuck dudes?
Dude is not a gender neutral term and you will find very few trans people that think it is.
i've always called everyone dude, but I see what you mean. i'll #bebest
Can't believe Good Burger would lie to me like this!
My partner was assigned female at birth and is non-binary. They referred to themselves as dude on a daily basis even before coming out/transitioning.
They're welcome to do that for themselves. It's still not ok to use it for people explicitly stating she/her and then to turn into the biggest smug shitlord imaginable about it being gender neutral when called out and told not to do that, or to call a person "socially unaware" for requesting correct pronoun use.
Agreed, I'm just saying some areas of the world are different when it comes to certain words being gender-neutral or not, and that there is no "one-size-fits all" definition of what phrases are gender neutral. I'm obviously not going to call someone dude who doesn't want to be called that, but I also think that there should be some level of understanding that there are people who will slip a gender-neutral "dude" into conversation without any malicious intent to misgender anyone - because yes, I have grown up around plenty straight men who would have said "yes" to the "do you fuck dudes?" question.
The thing about social issues is that they change by society. In certain cultures where I live, it's normal for cis women to be addressed as 'dude'. The term is considered gender neutral by default in those circles, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was increasingly recuperated in more youth spaces.
It's obviously different if someone uses it in a gendered context (e.g. 'a dude', 'i fuck dudes'), that's offensive and horrible to misgender with, and obviously it's a dumbass gamble to assume it will be received as neutral when talking with new people. And, of course, this doesn't excuse the moron who plays the "I have a friend who is fine with me saying this" routine. But what that user said isn't as absurd as it may sound, because there are legitimate societies, some which are my day-to-day life even, where it already is neutral.