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this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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As a trans woman who routinely has to deal with "shop talk" my advice is that since theyre young explain the way that it works to them and let them know how to speak up when shit gets uncomfortable.
Cleaning it up and getting professional and polite would theoretically be great, but the fact is that their career will involve this and if everyone has to clean up their language resentment will build and people will just exclude them. Meanwhile everyone should feel comfortable saying "too far" or "hey you're hitting a sore spot" or even "not cool".
This is really truly the best advice.
I am a straight male. But by definition I'm gender fluid. I have endured through my life no end of abuse for this, and it's nothing close to what my trans partners in the past have experienced.
But in the end, it comes down to having a spine and being able to assert yourself.
Especially in trades, there is no end of ball-breaking and risque dialogue. If you are not able to defend yourself or say okay dude the joking has gone far enough, you are not going to have a happy life and you need to find something else to do to make money.
If we live in the online reality where "ideal" behavior is constantly advocated and expected, we are never going to connect to the truth of life which is that bullshit is everywhere and we have to learn to stand up to it and flow with it.