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this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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"I'm not sure I understand, but am willing to have an open mind and listen and understand where you're coming from. If you'll have patience to explain to me, I'd be willing to learn with humility and humanity and do my best to be a better person"
Admit ignorance, commit to being a good person. It's not that hard.
What’s with the unwarranted condescension?
It's not condescension. That's quite literally the point. So many people just refuse to be or have never learned to be humble. This is literally a great cooperative and constructive stance to take. You don't have to be tough, you aren't showing off to anybody - you're asking somebody for help understanding them. If that's really a problem, then you need to reassess how you navigate the world with others and why. If you genuinely do this for some trans kid, they'll love you and be more than willing to help you understand because basically nobody ever cares about them or their experiences. You'd make their year (shit. If you do this for anybody and you'll make them happy). But don't do it just to do it, actually embody this humility. It'll be weird at first, but you might even make a friend.
If your first reaction is to be offended by advice, maybe you shouldn't be in leadership.
Would you be genuinely interested in my feedback about why literally everyone agrees with me that you have a combative tone, or would you just condescendingly dismiss that as well?
Hit me.
It's apparently easier than you not being a jackass, at least.
Edited. My intent is not to be a jackass, but to point out that SO many people use any excuse to not just bridge the gap and try to understand other people.
To be perfectly clear, though, I've been explaining this to people for years, and I'm absolutely sick and tired of the same old excuses and pushback. So I apologize if some of that unfairly came out here to people who are new to this and may be undeserving of that specific criticism.
No one talks like this
Do you mean no one talks like this in your industry or company? You could always be a vanguard and set the tone. Also you don't have to say exactly that, word for word. My point is to just level with them, admit you don't really know, and then to listen and try to understand their story a bit. Even the notion in dude-speak or whatever will be heard loud and clear and you'll make their day, and everybody will be happier for it.
No you're making it sound like they're going to be a problem right from the start and you're willing to understand
Is "they" op or the trans kid?
Trans
I do not agree with an angry mob downvoting you, but I'll notice this is probably not the context to put this in.
This looks more like a parent figuring out about their kids being trans. In the OP's context, everyone is on an even ground.
Here, it is mostly important to use their preferred names/pronouns and consult on the terms as necessary.