That laptop is no longer a laptop, it is a bomb.
Transcript
A photo of an extremely swollen HP laptop. The panels are kept on with clips. The caption says: "User calls about disc being stuck in another computer, mentions off hand about this laptop. They'd been using it like this for weeks...
The chance of a discharged battery hurting anyone is 0%. No juice, no fire. I'm in IT and have thrown a few in the fire and shot several. Worst I've seen is one get very hot and burn around the bullet hole, and those had some juice left in them.
Sure, that's probably true (we could quibble over "0%" and the nuances of hyperbole), but my confidence that the clearly damaged battery in front of me is completely discharged and won't cause harm is far less than my confidence in PPE saving my eyesight. When giving information to strangers on the internet, I like to play it conservative.
I dunno, i once discharged a battery and then threw it at my brother. He seemed pretty hurt.
When he said you were D-ranged he just meant what size battery and how far you could throw it.