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Discussion Thread 🪴 Saturday 17 May 2025
(aussie.zone)
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this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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Rough night sleep as you might imagine. I’m really torn between cooking up a whole lasagna and casserole and dropping it over and recognising that I’m just trying to do something to deal with how I feel and that’s kinda fuckin rude. They’ll have family and shit around all the time anyway.
My go to for these situations is to drop off toilet paper, tissues and some basics like tea, coffee and long life milk. Grief makes it hard to keep track of the basics and you also have lots of people visiting you, so those are the sorts of things you most want. Food can cause more problems, because you have to find somewhere in the fridge for it etc.
If it's just happened, I'd say leave them be. When it's settled maybe look at mowing the lawns, or taking the kids for a bit.
Apparently it happened Monday but yeah thinking we might leave it a few days before we reach out, let them know if there’s anything they need.
It's nice to let them know, but many people in crisis will just say "we're fine" or similar if offered help. Try to look for a decision or some effort you can take out of their hands.
Try not to be so hard on yourself man.
Your heart is in right place. Give them a couple of days to get over the shock then you can extend your condolences and assist where you can.
I’m sorry. I’m at a loss, the tp and milk idea is a good one though.
I'm sorry mate. If it's any help, I've always found in the days and first couple of weeks after someone passes away there are heaps of people coming around and offering help in various ways. Then people seem to go back to their own lives and you're truly left with the aftermath. This is when I begin to offer help with something, which is sometimes when they really need it and also when my own emotions are less raw and I can be more useful. That's just me though.