this post was submitted on 14 May 2025
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I don’t know how old your kids are but it gets easier. You’re probably in that survival mode right now. Little time for anything but keeping the family alive. There’s research showing that age 50 is on average the least happy time, with things getting much better from there. Kids eventually move out or at least become self-sufficient. You’ll have more time for date nights and working on your relationship. With fewer costs there will be less financial stress so you can find a better job (either one with less stress or more money or both). Inflation will eat away at your mortgage over time and eventually you’ll be like “it’s only $300k now?? That’s nothing!”
Don’t be afraid of making some big changes if necessary. If your job isn’t paying you enough to survive where you live, consider moving somewhere with a lower cost of living. The wage is much less important than the ratio of that wage to living costs. There are lots of places with cheap houses where you might be able to live mortgage free, depending on your current equity.
I’m sure it goes without saying, but do your very best to prioritise your health. Sleep eight hours. Exercise a few times a week (even a brisk walk). Limit alcohol. Take a multivitamin. Reduce sugar and carbs. Etc. You will feel much more mentally resilient. It’s hard though, where you are, I know.
Best of us! You’re in the hardest phase. It gets easier from here.
you kind of missed the point. your comments are based on an antiquated view of our life cycle. the problem is that there is such a disparity of income, and a work cuture of constant drive that many of us are so far upside down for kids moving out to change anything. between the constant inflation, income never catching up and having gone through two and soon potentially three resessions completely destroying our retirement investments, this is a generation that will work until they die. so the need for socialization now rather than later is important.
the problem isn't that this is a huge mountain to climb. it's that we are constantly running up hill and the fatigue eventually gets you. this is why people give up on being social. the benefits never outweigh the added stress. all you've done is dig your hole a little deeper.
i think this is why social media has such an appeal. it has a feeling of social interaction at the cost of selling you personal info which most people don't care about. you use it at any free moment with no commitment. i will see someone on facebook while sitting in traffic, they found a way to cram some sort of social interaction in where they could. unfortunately this isn't a substitute for irl social interactions.