this post was submitted on 14 May 2025
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Elizabeth Holmes admits she was in control of Theranos
But Ms. Holmes... did you not start this company?
"I swear to god, I was extremely incompetent. I had no clue what I did day in, day out. It's all just a blur. I'm not even sure why they hired me honestly."
“Fuck if I know what I did on my years-long coke bender”
"Not only am I a bad judge of who a good employee might be, but I'm also a bad employee. It's truly the worst situation, Your Honor."
"I was self-employed and my boss was an incompetent jerk."
"Seems to be a huge problem in self-employment. I’m self-employed, or was until my asshole boss got in a car accident in my car and somehow blamed the whole thing on me! Fucker is a procrastinator too."
"I've already punished myself with a pay cut."
"Look no reasonable person would have hired me, thus I'm clearly mentally unwell"
"I’m gonna sue my ass for what I did to me!"
“I am just a low-level CEO, I really just made the coffee.”
"As I said, I was incompetent. I should never have hired me."
She made the critical error of stealing from rich people
Alright no one's asking so I'm doing it. Are these real quotes? And ain't it a shame we're living in a time I need to ask that?
I will answer because I hate disinformation.
No, these are NOT quotes. I collected a bunch of other people's responses when this happened.
Yes, it's a shame that these could easily be possible today.
So did Martin Shkreli. (LOL, I Googled "guy who raised drug prices". First hit from Gemini. Maybe AI ain't so dumb?)
Shkreli not only bragged about it but had the nerve to be an insufferable little bitch while he was at it. With a punchable face. At least Holmes is cute.
Steal from the poor all ya like, never the rich. Reverse Robin Hood: A-OK.