41
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

My daughter is ~2 months shy of being 21. Her boyfriend is 46. For reference, I'm 45. She introduced him to my wife and me about half a year ago. Since then I've had to bond with him in order to maintain the great relationship I have with my daughter and also keep an eye out for her. But it's tough, uncomfortable. It is what it is. As we say here "să fie ea sănătoasă" - as long as she's healthy (health is the most important thing).

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Jesus Christ, what do they even talk about?! Like, I'm not one to judge, but the dude's old enough to be her dad (heck, even older as you've indirectly said!), I have trouble relating to people ten years younger than me...

I can imagine this is deeply uncomfortable. But hang in there, maybe she's just figuring some things out with herself.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

When I was 30 I went on a date with a girl who was 20 (she asked me out). She was very cute, very bright, and pretty mature. I just couldn't even go on a second date, it was so strange. She was so young, and we didn't even have any pop culture references in common. It was just weird.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

They have a lot of hobbies in common. They’re both very adventurous. Seeing them interact with each other, they talk about anything and everything. He’s very… youthful. I don’t enjoy bonding with him because I have a very laidback and calm personality, while he’s very rowdy and fiery. My daughter bickers with him a lot because of his personality, playfully, of course…

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Well, at least it sounds like it's not a "just for the hell of it" relationship if nothing else. Hopefully, it's applicable at both ends.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Honestly, of all the things to focus on "we couldn't talk about twenty year old popular media" is something you might want to spend some introspection time on.

[-] [email protected] -2 points 1 month ago

I think you're assuming a bit too much (or, more specifically, too little) about the difficulties I've encountered.

Could say the same to you, given that popular media was your go-to...

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Oh, so you just can't relate to current events, politics, various hobbies, classical art, etc then to the point of having nothing to talk about with someone?

Or just remember what it was like to be ten years younger?

Can't even watch new shows or whatever together?

Fair enough.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If that's enough for you, then that's enough for you. But trying to impose your standards on others is not ok.

Different people have different needs and interests, that should have been obvious by now.

this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
41 points (97.7% liked)

Off My Chest

1255 readers
37 users here now

RULES:


I am looking for mods!


1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.

2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)

3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.

4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.

5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.

6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS