this post was submitted on 05 May 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face
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Hahahahahahaha
It's not fair that I'm getting hurt when I voted to hurt THEM!!!
Turns out that you need to be a billionaire to be part of the real "in group", otherwise you're part of the "out group" even if you're one of the useful idiots simping for the "in group".
"They were supposed to cut the things that I didn't think were important, even though other people thought they were important. They were not supposed to cut the things that I thought were important, even though other people didn't think they were important." Lmao!
Fucker probably wants kids to starve and go homeless.
There's really not a lot to cut that doesn't directly affect children or old people outside of the military.
No one will dare cut military because it's the largest jobs program on the planet.
"suckers and losers" can apply to his voters to besides vets. he also said "you voted on what i campaigned on"
Reminds me of visiting the Libertarian subreddit around the time of the LA fires and the big brains thinking about how to make the fire departments private for profits. That midset is rather universal among republicans (even if not the fire departments, but they will have something that they think would be better as a corporation rather than government agency). Reporter should ask him how long he estimates that the market will signal to investors to pick up the slack.
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Joe Rogan posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.
I read this every time it’s posted. It’s so great.
A classic.
🏆
Thanks!
People need to start asking them what the point of the profits are when the money isn't going back into the respective region (municipal/whatever the states version of provincial is/federal).
Like great, yeah, the fire department is now private. But there are no profits because nobody can afford the services anymore. Insurance goes through the roof, neighborhoods burn down... Real great plan there.
All fire departments used to be private. Go read how that went.
At the end of the day these things are politically motivated. The "economics" are just academic smoke screen for it all.
Looking at their circles we can see them doing a W with the mission accomplished at news coming out of Argentina. Anyone that is motivated by truth seeking would just say its too soon to tell.
Well that is how the most successful man in real estate history did it, right?
.... Hahahahahaha... hahahahahaha.
These idiots really think that minorities are just living it up off food-stamps when it was them the whole time.