this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2025
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Comic Strips
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if I had kids
Me: "You're not leaving this room until you can defeat Promised Consort Radahn at level 1, naked and without a weapon."
If I had grandkids I'd sit their ass down on Unreal Tournament and/or Quake. "Today you suffer instagib so that tomorrow you can dominate plebs and their eternal TTKs."
Instagib is why I hate how long it takes to kill in most modern shooters. The first game of Marvel Rivals I tried, I literally glued myself to someone playing as Thor (while I was Rocket) and spent the entire game healing that one Thor while he fought the other team's Venom and neither of them were ever close to dying.
Getting the giant nuke, finding the highest fuckoff corner to perch on and then unleashing holy hell on the rest of the map was the highlight of UT99 to be honest
The Redeemer, and yes, it was always awesome to find and shoot, except when someone manage to fire it off during flight
DENIED
"Hey kids, here's a diskette of my favorite game. Open up your A: drive and run that EXE. Let me show you what pwnage feels like."
Mom! I think grandpa is having a stroke! Call 911!
"Get off the phone, I'm trying to use the internet!"
Written on your Tombstomb, instead of RIP: E. Z.