638
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2025
638 points (99.4% liked)
The Onion
6337 readers
702 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
How in God's name do you bankrupt a casino?
Multiple times, too
By using it to launder money.
Using it to launder money usually results in an extremely profitable casino, not the opposite.
I have a feeling Trump thought money laundering involved laundromats.
Well that's a special kind of stupid.
Well you see, a casino is an extremely complex, mult-layered business in which customers enter said business with the expectation and intent of exchanging money for entertainment, and the casino itself is guaranteed through simple probabilities and statistics to have an advantage over the customer on all of the games presented, and.... oh wait. Yep, he must really suck at business.
A casino is a business where people give you money expecting nothing in return.
There are a lot of ruffles and flourishes to disguise that fact, but is the simple truth.
And Trump is so stupid he managed to fuck it up. Twice.
Bankrupting a casino is usually a good thing. E.g. "I'm the man who broke the bank at Monte Carlo".
Bankrupting it from the outside is good for the guy who does it. But that's not the same thing.
Launder whatever you want, but you could still be able to stay in the black.
By being Dumbass Donny.