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Anon is worried about men (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 years ago by [M] to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 29 points 2 years ago* (8 children)

I'm gay but I've only ever been on dates where both of us paid for our own meals. I think hetero dating is just broken and they should start over

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  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago (6 children)

    Splitting the bill on the first date is possible with the right women, but for a lot of women the second you mention it they get offended and/or ghost you. I would say ~30% are open to splitting the bill for the first date and the rest find it to be a huge turn off or they will legitimately get mad.

    I have had women call me broke and tell me to delete their number when I suggest we split the first date bill before hand. I mean it weeds out the bad ones early but it still sucks.

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  • [–] 20 points 2 years ago

    Honestly though, it's a good way to weed out that 70% with antiquated conceptions is gender norms which will probably cause problems later in the relationship anyway. If they get that offended over splitting the check in a first date, they're probably gonna hold you to unworkable heteronormative expectations later, too.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    Okay, but if it's that big of a deal to you, wouldn't you be happy to know you're incompatible with that person right away over such a simple topic?

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  • [–] -2 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    Yeah but typically that conversation comes after days of texting/calling to get to know them somewhat. It's not like I'm gonna match with someone and immediately ask them if they are comfortable splitting the bill on the first date. Maybe I should just ask that right out of the gate to avoid wasting time. Idk.

    It's the constant lost progress that wears you down. You're carrying the conversation and keeping it fun while half the women are dry and give short answers to everything because they are messaging back the 20 other guys who all matched with them that day. So you put in the effort to try and stand out only to find out the night before a date or when a date is first brought up that they aren't compatible. It's just draining on you after enough times.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Your lack of success dating probably has something to do with you saying shit like this

    Found another woman.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    Before I met my wife I went on paid for the bunch of people. Good percent of them wanted to pay their share. You can also discuss it prior to actually going on the date and then you don't get surprised. Just basic communication

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