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Anon is worried about men (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 year ago by [M] to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 16 points 1 year ago (12 children)

My aunt admitted she did the free meal thing back in the 70s. It's not new. This whole thing is bs. People just have whiny echo chambers now.

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  • [–] 29 points 1 year ago* (8 children)

    I'm gay but I've only ever been on dates where both of us paid for our own meals. I think hetero dating is just broken and they should start over

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  • [–] 18 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    Splitting the bill on the first date is possible with the right women, but for a lot of women the second you mention it they get offended and/or ghost you. I would say ~30% are open to splitting the bill for the first date and the rest find it to be a huge turn off or they will legitimately get mad.

    I have had women call me broke and tell me to delete their number when I suggest we split the first date bill before hand. I mean it weeds out the bad ones early but it still sucks.

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  • [–] 20 points 1 year ago

    Honestly though, it's a good way to weed out that 70% with antiquated conceptions is gender norms which will probably cause problems later in the relationship anyway. If they get that offended over splitting the check in a first date, they're probably gonna hold you to unworkable heteronormative expectations later, too.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Okay, but if it's that big of a deal to you, wouldn't you be happy to know you're incompatible with that person right away over such a simple topic?

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  • [–] -2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Yeah but typically that conversation comes after days of texting/calling to get to know them somewhat. It's not like I'm gonna match with someone and immediately ask them if they are comfortable splitting the bill on the first date. Maybe I should just ask that right out of the gate to avoid wasting time. Idk.

    It's the constant lost progress that wears you down. You're carrying the conversation and keeping it fun while half the women are dry and give short answers to everything because they are messaging back the 20 other guys who all matched with them that day. So you put in the effort to try and stand out only to find out the night before a date or when a date is first brought up that they aren't compatible. It's just draining on you after enough times.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Your lack of success dating probably has something to do with you saying shit like this

    Found another woman.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    Before I met my wife I went on paid for the bunch of people. Good percent of them wanted to pay their share. You can also discuss it prior to actually going on the date and then you don't get surprised. Just basic communication

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  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I never said it was a new shitty behavior from women. It's just that more men are aware of it now. Especially since a lot of women will post about it online and while they do get to share it with their yaaas queen slay fan base men do also see those posts. They see those comments where women are bragging about how many dates they have gone on with zero intention of actually romantically engaging with the man at any point.

    And to be clear I am not sitting here thinking this is a one way street. I am fully aware that men have a long history of going on dates just to get laid and then never talking to that woman again.

    Both genders got shit they need to work on just like most people got shit they need to work on.

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  • [–] -5 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I think you're still just seeing the noisy few and those people are not the norm. The most vocal people are not necessarily the majority. I think most people on both sides or all sides are just looking for someone they're compatible with

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago

    So either myself and all other other single men I talk to about this all have terrible luck or there is some sort of shift that's happened in the last ~10 years and it's finally getting so bad that others are picking up on it.

    I was in a relationship or dating in one form or another from the age of like 14 until I was ~27. Only in the last 6-7 years did it get really bad.

    I think it's a combination of a lot of things but ultimately it's become a numbers game and most guys just don't want to put up with the bullshit anymore. Especially in this economy many dudes are just checking out. Not only from dating but basically everything.

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