It's kinda funny thinking about the stigma around cisnormative men listening to music (especially pop) performed by women. (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I was kinda on a nostalgia trip and I stumbled on Jennifer Lopez's Waiting for Tonight, and it's basically about how she wants to fuck her partner. It could be more romantic in nature, and for some people it is, but looking at the repression in the West, it's very racy for its time.

But I ask: Why is it considered bad for straight men to want to listen to a song about how a woman wants to fuck? Volcel Pledge, notwithstanding.

I mean I know the answer is systemic misogyny, but like it doesn't even make sense?

It's so bizarre to me as a queer person attracted to men that men and boys are discouraged from listening to musicians who are women.

I'd have loved growing up with musicians I'm attracted to who were attracted to my gender.

I sorta want to explore this experience as an outsider, but I'm curious, what was that like? Did you listen to artists you liked in secret? How are your music tastes now? Any recommendations on music that feels different on a revisit?

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

It's a deep-seated combination of homophobia and machismo. Singing along to pop music is a very female or queer coded activity in American culture, even though most straight cis men feel exactly the same emotional connections with the song and the desire to sing along. It's only in very accepting and safe situations that we let loose (and even then, it's usually a "tee hee I wouldn't normally do this" sort of situation). I think a lot of men listen to and sing along to pop music while driving, because it's a private place where they can make a lot of noise without being overheard.

this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023

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