What a complete waste of my life seeing that piece of shit fucking movie. What the fuck were they thinking.
The film did not have a single redeeming quality. Boring ass, shit ass, bullshit film. My only regret was not sleeping through more of it.
Also WHY DO AMERICANS USE FAKE BRITISH ACCENTS WHENEVER A MOVIE TAKES PLACE IN ANY COUNTRY OTHER THAN USA? WHHYY? FUCKING WHYYY. THE MOVIE TAKES PLACE IN ROMANIA YOU IDIOTS WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE BRITISH FOR NO GOD DAMNED REASON 
Edit: Germany? Fuck whatever, some country which notably does not have a British accent.
to be fair i watched the OG and herzog version like a day or two before the new nosferatu, but damn what a downgrade
it's like... so modern horror movie it hurts, if i had to describe it. just threw all of the current horror trends into a movie, vampire looks like they're malnourished instead of a vampire, almost comical sex macabre scenes. easily the least interesting rendition of nosferatu as a villain, they somehow managed to make a boring willem dafoe role which i previously didn't think was possible, and overall it just felt like it had so much less to say. only prop i can give it is that the blood sucking sounds were pretty good, props to the foley peeps. robert eggers? ya basic
biggest horror movie disappointment to me since longlegs
love the herzog one
Wow - I liked it, but I totally agree with all your points as well! I did not care for Bill Skarsgard's Orlok and Willem Dafoe's role was pretty basic, but I liked most other aspects of the film. And I was so let down by Longlegs too
im being unfair, i did enjoy the movie. i was let down because i was genuinely hyped and looking forward to seeing the movie all year, and somehow expected a high budget hollywood horror movie to match the vibes of a 100+ year old silent film/a batshit herzog film, and got a high budget hollywood horror movie featuring the stereotypical horror movie creepy violin crescendo jumpscares instead
it was fine, just fine in a way that was really disappointing to me
the second half of longlegs should be studied by future generations so that its mistakes are never repeated again lmao