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Learned the person I consider my closest friend doesn't consider me theirs (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I posted a day or 2 ago about me and my friend going through it a bit. To sum up: The situation is largely resolved, we had a long in-depth talk about things and cleared the air, we're still close friends.

It's just that, during the course of our conversation I told him he's my closest friend and asked if I was his...and he said no. He said I was close, but not the closest.

I didn't ask who was, though I think I know. And if that person is indeed the one, I suppose I get it. He lost his mom and my friend helped him through it, and few things bring people closer than overcoming tragedy, which our friendship has largely been free of. This person is a good guy.

I know it seems petty, and I'm trying not to let it bother me, but ngl, no matter how much I try to logic it away in my mind: It hurts.

It hurts to know I'm no one's #1 friend, and maybe no one's #1 anything.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

I think I know where you're coming from. When I first moved out I was very lonely and felt like I wasn't a significant part of anyones life. I know others have said that's an unhealthy way to think but wanted to say I have felt that way once and it does hurt a lot. All I can suggest is try and just enjoy the time you spend with people when you can and not think about it more than that. Its easy for me to say though because I'm no longer lonely and actually prefer some peace and quiet these days haha.