this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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I hate scrum

I hate stand up

I hate sprints

Fuck Toyota

How have we taken the most autistic job and tacked a stupid, worthless, autistic unfriendly process on to it? (the answer of course is capitalism)

I want to quit but I can't get another job and even if I could it would just be more of this shit.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

My previous job had daily 30-60 minute “stand ups” and weekly 2+ hour sprint planning meetings.

It’s not “proper” agile/scrum/whatever, but in my experience it never is. No agile plan survives contact with the enemy (management).

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Ya some new coworker said we weren't doing proper Agile in this new team I joined many months ago and luckily they're audio-only calls because I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes so hard. Never seen truly "proper" agile in my life. There's always some twist to account for some customer demands or something. And tbh, that's probably how it should be.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

i dont think there's really such a thing as "proper" agile and im almost certain ive seen some quote from the guy that invented the term saying as much. it's a bunch of things your team can do or not do depending on how it works. At my job im on a few different teams and one of them does the 2 week sprint planning + jira board thing but no standups. The other teams dont even bother with jira, just have weekly status meetings and people mostly know what they're going to do and do it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

There’s always some twist to account for some customer demands or something. And tbh, that’s probably how it should be.

I'm pretty sure this is literally part of the agile manifesto. You should adjust things to what works on your team. I don't have a strong opinion on agile/not-agile because its all working in corporate environment and that sucks regardless, but agile itself is supposed to be... agile. It's just vocal developers are often rules-nerds so you get people talking about "proper agile" for no real reason other than the express their dissatisfaction at how things are going while simultaneously proving how smart and good they are for knowing the rules.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

In my experience the thing that keeps the amount of "Agile" rituals down is management looking at how long it takes and realising that they're not making any money while everybody is at meetings.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Fucking hell, 7 hours a week just in meetings?