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Teens Want Less Sex in Movies and TV Shows, Study Finds (variety.com)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/news@lemmy.world
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I am not a teen.

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[–] 105 points 2 years ago (8 children)

I'm not a teen (far from it), but I'm with the kids on this one. The vast majority of sex scenes in movies are awful. They're awkward and totally unrealistic. It completely takes you out of the movie. Most sex scenes are not engrossing or engaging, they don't immerse you in the story, they push you out of it.

Most every sex scene feels like it was made by someone who's never had sex. Every angle is the right angle, every thrust is ecstasy, it's nonsense. It's like someone who thinks the covers of romance novels are depictions of real life.

There are a lot of intimate moments that can be portrayed convincingly enough on film, but sex is rarely one of them. And it's just not necessary. Let the audience infer, let us use our imaginations.

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  • [–] 22 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I have a friend who's dated a bit but has never really had a boyfriend. I think she gives up too soon because she expects a Hallmark movie where everything's perfect and every kiss is magical.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I don’t know if that’s necessarily a bad thing, I kind of wish my standards had been higher when I was younger. I dated a lot of people longer than I should have, thinking that that was as good as it got. The fact that she is going on dates is a good thing- it means she’s at least getting an idea of how she fits with different types of people and she’s socially active.

    Obviously she might overdo it, but as long as she’s content alone as well, she’s not really hurting herself. I guess it’s a function of how regretful a person she is and her age.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago

    She's 30 and has a physical disability that is obvious when she walks and requires her to use a wheelchair for longer distances. That makes dating difficult, so i hate to see her give up on people just because there's no magic on the first couple of dates.

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  • [–] 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    C'mon, didn't you wanna see Oppenheimer reach criticality?

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago*

    There's a really good BBC miniseries about Oppenheimer made back in the 80s with Sam Waterston in the lead role.

    On the one hand, it doesn't have mind-blowing special effects.

    On the other hand, there's no sex scenes in a show about the scientist who helped make the atom bomb because why would watch a TV show about him and hope to see him fucking?

    I wouldn't even want sex scenes in a Feynman movie and he was fucking every woman who was willing. It's just not a necessary thing to tell his story. You can show he was a horndog and not show him fucking.

    Anyway, here's the miniseries.

    https://archive.org/details/oppenheimer1980

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    I'm sorry, but this take feels out of touch. Every shot in a movie is at the right angle. Of course they're unrealistic. Movies are unrealistic. Sure, some try to take a more gritty, grounded approach but in general art is trying to capture the highest and lowest points of life. Obviously it's going to be unrealistic.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago

    Fair enough, though calling this stuff art is a bit much. Most TV shows and movies are better described as visual junk food than art. I think a bare minimum standard is for the work to stick with you longer than 5 minutes after you finish watching it.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

    Fair enough, but when you're trying to recreate something as intimate and vulnerable as sex, it just stands out more. Of course when I'm watching a movie I consciously know that what I'm seeing on the screen isn't real, but when it's done right I'm so immersed that that part of my brain turns off and I'm able to get completely lost in the story or spectacle. But more often than not, when there's a sex scene I get completely taken out of it and instead of seeing characters having sex, I see actors engaged in an awkward simulation.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago*

    It's just boring, and defeats the purpose of good story telling IMO. It's either uninteresting showing very little, or it's like porn, and when I watch a movie, I'm generally not in the mood for porn.
    If they had great sex, it may not mean the same to everybody. But if you show them at a later point, like breakfast or something, and they are glowing and smiling bigly to each other, we all know what happened, and how it went.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (1 child)

    As I said here:

    By that logic you could make arguments against a lot of different genres and classic story elements. I don’t like the argument that because media these days sucks at doing something they should avoid it altogether. I think they should just do better. Movies in the past proved it can be done.

    It’s disturbing to me that we’re culturally encouraged to find fun in violence but sex needs to be cordoned off to a containment genre and excised from mainstream art. I’m not saying it needs to be in every movie - but its been obvious for a while they’re going out of their way to avoid it, even in places where it would make sense or be fun. I want art to stop awkwardly excluding a major part of life. I want out of this “Everyone is beautiful and no one is horny” Twilight Zone multiverse that all our modern movies seem to take place in.

    Sex is too important to be left to porn.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago

    I want out of this “Everyone is beautiful and no one is horny” Twilight Zone multiverse that all our modern movies seem to take place in.

    I'm not saying no character should ever be allowed to be horny, or sexual in any way. My point isn't that we should pretend that human sexuality doesn't exist, I just don't think it's always necessary to see it simulated (usually poorly) on screen.

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  • [+] -6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    One point to disagree on: less teens than ever are having sex, and with no actual experience, their imaginations are based on porn. No wonder they're terrified of it, if their first impression is what comes up when you Google "boy girl have sex".

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago

    Too many parents are not open with their kids about sex. I made sure my daughter understood that there's nothing shameful about watching porn or masturbating, but she should not expect actual sex to be like what she sees in porn and she will enjoy it a lot more if she won't have those sort of expectations.

    It's not enough to just tell kids where babies come from. You need to tell them all sorts of things that they really need to know about sex because otherwise they'll learn bullshit from the internet and other kids. Tell them about the things I mentioned and also about things like contraception and consent and even about kinks and why you shouldn't feel shame or be worried if your kink involves consent all around.

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