this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2024
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I learned at a real young age to never tell anyone you feel suicidal unless you want to end up "involuntarily committed". Won't even bring up my depression unless I'm around a real friend.
Same.
Perfect solution to feeling like life has no worth except making profits for billionaires is obviously to forcibly lock them up in a hospital for a week and stick them with a $20k bill. That'll fix all that depression. /s
It's not just a hospital too by the way. It was a murder short of feeling like I was in the asylum from outlast. Wailing, fighting, screaming and all other sorts of antisocial behavior, with the staff barely in control. At the least that was how it felt and being committed to that place beyond just preventing my possible suicide in the short term became a lasting traumatic experience.
I have a similar experience that I wrote about on my blog. I would link it, but I'm not wanting to connect those two online identities. Essentially, I wasn't even at risk of suicide, but my crazy psychiatrist thought he knew better then me and my parents. Mental hospitals are absolutely dehumanizing. They are basically prisons for those who haven't committed any crimes. There are strip searches just like prisons. You are not allowed any outside things (stuffed animals, normal clothes, etc). Maybe prisons should start using sedatives for torture as well. Maybe I should patent the idea and make bank.
Also to make things worse: those suffering mental health issues are very vulnerable and easy to abuse in these facilities
I remember just feeling numb like in disbelief that it was happening, I'm sure I have blocks of parts of that experience. I felt subhuman there.
At some point after returning home I just shut down, stopped communicating with anyone, and layed in bed for months.
Same. I did have a therapist a few years ago that I told some real bad shit to, but that was after a couple of years of building trust; I was still scared of getting a pair of grippy socks. I went to see them because of a... let's go with a 'stopped suicide attempt'. Stroke at a young age, fiancé left me, no hope, career goals shattered, physically fucked, financially ruined, etc so rock bottom was looking down at me like 'damn bro I'm sorry'.
A few close friends know things that others don't, shit I'm not about to spill here. But it's because they either have been in a similar situation and we have worked to keep each other alive and going, or they have degrees in the field of mental health and don't mind trying to keep my head above water, or they are my (ex, current, etc) partner.
There's no fucking way I'm going to just casually be like "you ever just want to go to the roof, get right on the ledge, shoot yourself - and in case that doesn't take you out, the concrete walkway at the foot of the 20 story fall will finish the job? No? Just me then? Ha, funny. I hate life. Haha."
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