this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2023
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I went from trans-tolerant ("do what you want it's none of my business") to trans-supportive largely because of parasocial relationships with trans creators: PhilophyTube, ContraPoints, JessieGender, Jimquisition, Chipflake, Jammidodger, and NOAHFINCE. Then there's nonbinary and trans-adjacent creators like Thought Slime (some kind of nonbinary?), CJ the X (nonbinary presentation?), Mother's Basement (gf is Yazzie, trans woman), and Shaun (has entire hour long campaign videos about the BBC's transphobia). Point being, knowing a trans person IRL is much less of barrier than you'd think since parasociality seems to cover it, and trans and trans-supportive creators have gotten a lot more open about being on the internet.
(yes NB is considered trans but 1. people don't generally think of it that way and 2. I'm an AMAB demiboy and feel like that me being "trans" would appropriate the struggles of "real" trans people when my own identity is a "rounding error", and to a large degree feel like gender nonconformity is less stigmatized than out-and-out binary trans people. I'm not transmedicalist, NB are still valid and may or may not want their own gender confirmation stuff, but feel like "trans" as a label is too broad an umbrella, since it basically covers all gender nonconformity)
I think I'm in the same boat. I remember having conversations with my wife around 2015 about being somewhat frustrated about trans people's pronouns and wishing there was a better way to refer to them. I was very much in the "I don't care what they do" mindset like you mentioned. Looking back is so wierd. At the time I sort of considered myself a libertarian but didn't really get involved with politics. That changed so quickly with Trump (and specifically the United the Right rally). It really made me more politically aware. Anyways, like you I started watching ContraPoints. I think a friend recommended the "how to spot a fascist" video. It's hard to say if her content really had any effect on me becoming more trans-supportive than trans-tolerant (like you said) or if it was just a natural progression for me mulling stuff over in my brain over time. I look back on that conversation now and cringe. It wasn't outright transphobic but I'd definitely consider it a yellow flag hearing it from someone now.
That is valid, thank you for your response. I want to offer a sincere apology for causing any discomfort; I misunderstood GNC as an umbrella term under which NB falls, similar to how "queer" is an umbrella term for LGBTQIA+ in general. Now I understand that GNC is more a lifestyle rather than an identity, and not a superset as I initially thought.
Regarding my own identity, I don't outwardly present as GNC, but despite having masc pronouns, being referred to as a "man" makes my skin crawl, and I'm not fond of having facial hair. I don't feel comfortable identifying as "trans", and as a counterexample, that would suggest not all NB are trans and thus it isn't a strict superset. However, this is just my personal experience and understanding, and I acknowledge that others might feel and experience their identities differently. I know there's a diverse range of experiences and identities within the NB and trans communities, and it isn't my place to define who should or should not identify as trans.
Also for what it's worth, I'm not deeply engaged with NB communities, so my knowledge is lacking. Please correct me when I've used inappropriate language or expressed misunderstandings. I am here to learn and understand better. I appreciate your patience and willingness to correct my misunderstanding, and am glad I can be more sensitive and informed moving forward.