this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Every Time My Son Sees a Particular Fox in the Neighborhood, He Gives a Devious Smile. I Know What He’s Up To. This needs to stop.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

You gotta attack from two angles here. For the wildlife, you can spread scent-based deterrants around like linseed or cotton oil, or a salt circle, or a bunch of piss. Try to puff yourself up really large and make as much noise as you can while cursing the local spirits and gods in dire hubris that you claim this land as your own. Get good at animal calls and beatbox that shit back to them louder. Just really mog the shit outta the genius loci and make any fae feel like the property values are falling.

For your son, sit down and talk to them about the dangers of rabies and beastwiles. Consider getting them individual therapy and a piece of cold-wrought iron to carry around. Make sure they know how to reliably and safely operate a gun, and understand the basics of electroplating.