this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2024
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The parents not caring is bullshit. Once my Dad came over and explained, we were doing it wrong and demonstrated for the kids a better, faster, more dangerous method before then ignoring us and heading back to the other adults.
One thing I hate about being a 90s kid is that I was not allowed to do anything fun that could potentially injure me, because religious conservative Boomer parents were afraid of anything and everything back then. I wasn't even allowed to play StarCraft because it had "craft" in the name, and "craft" was associated with Witchcraft. My dad wouldn't even pump gas without inspecting the handle closely beforehand because he thought get people were gluing HIV-infected needles to them.
Even after I moved out he would constantly come over unannounced to check on me. If I refused to answer, he'd call the police and file a missing person's report. I was actually somewhat relieved when he died a couple of years ago, because for the first time in my life, I was allowed to be an independent adult at the age of 35
90s kid here: Your parents were just insane.
Not from what I saw on the news back then. The 90s (especially the early 90s after Rodney King) was fear-mongering central. Maybe you were just lucky enough to have parents who could see through the bullshit being fed to them on the 5 'o clock news. Back then everybody watched the local news.
Sorry to tell you. Controling parents exist independent of the times. Them calling the police on you is a classic abusive move which is shitty behavior in it self, but the strain on society is fucked up as well. Classic narcist behavior. We love our parents either way deep down, but no need to make excuses for them. Go be happy, enjoy your life, do better with your kids. Help them become independent while being safe. Trust me they will still love you. Stop the cycle. <3
This post makes me question my interpretation of events.
I have acquaintances who seem to have a paranoid belief that every other person in the world is a paedophile just waiting for an opportunity to kidnap their child. Growing up in the 90s, I had a great deal of freedom in comparison to this thought process. I played cricket on the streets, I walked around the neighbourhood without concern, I walked my dog in the evenings. My parents didn't seem to think I would be unsafe without them around to coddle me.
I guess no matter the generation there are parents who go too far in one extreme or another... Though tbh, being concerned about witchcraft seems more medieval than boomer. Sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you feel more free now. I imagine it must be a complex mix of emotions.
That blows, because we're similar age, I'm born in '87, and I look back fondly at the freedom I had as a kid. It's a bit how I intend to model my parenting around, although it's hard to escape modern times in my mind sometimes. But my kids will wander around the neighborhood alone (in a couple of years, still too young), get dirty, stay out til the sun goes down, that kind of thing, with the caveat of not bothering people and their properties. Probably easier said than done on my part, we shall see.
Same age but I made the mistake of spending a few years prosecuting folks for sex crimes involving kids.
So.... I will absolutely not be letting my kids wander like I did but I'll also admit to having a fuck ton of vicarious trauma! 👍
I'm in Jersey (New), and while we attended Catholic services, we weren't exactly religious, and nor were my neighbors and the town in general. Perhaps it was regional. I have heard of this, just didn't experience it. My parents also let a little bit of Satan into their lives sometimes too, as anyone who was in their 20s in the '80s did.
I was born 87 and it wasn’t like this in England at all.
England was definitely a lot more laid-back when it came to religion back then. For example, when John Lennon said that The Beatles were more popular than Jesus, half of America lost its collective mind.
And in the 80s, Americans would throw holy water on Ozzy Osborne. He later said on his podcast that he doesn't even believe in Satanism and the Occult; he just likes their style. But Americans treated him like he was the fucking Antichrist.
That sucks man. Religion ruins childhoods.
It really does. I wasn't allowed to believe in Santa, and celebrating Halloween was completely out of the question. I was 30 the first time I was allowed to go trick or treating. Now that dad's dead, I go all-out on Halloween every single year. Suck it, you Trump-loving bastard.
(Just kidding: I love you dad. Rest in peace.)
I don't find it funny. All those things really happened. You misinterpreted my comment. I was saying "just kidding" to my dead dad, not you.
I had a terrible relationship with my dad, but he was still there for me when no one else was, so I can't hate him even if he was an abusive narcissist.
But that's not the point. The point is I know what you've been through, and I feel for you.
Damn dude, I hope things are better for you
Not really (I'm still a wage slave with severe ADHD and bipolar disorder) but the life insurance check sure helped. But now most of that is gone—even though I was smart and invested most of it—because due to a series of unfortunate events, I had to buy three cars and replace the engine in one of them since his death. If you're interested, a brief summary of what happened is below:
Paid off the remainder of my car loan the moment I got the check. A few months later, the mechanic noticed a grinding sound from the transmission. Because it was a hybrid with a sophisticated planetary eCVT (Ford C-Max), that ended up being a $8200 bill. So I traded in the car for a Genesis Coupe BK1 3.8.
Did my first oil change a month later and found metal in the oil. I decided to just keep driving it and replace the engine once it finally blew; well unfortunately I never got to that point because a few months later I slid the car backwards into a pole in attempt to avoid a collision with a driver who merged into my lane without looking. I overcorrected and completely totaled the car. Insurance refused to pay out because it was technically my fault, and I couldn't even part it out because the tow yard that took it wanted to charge me more than the scrap value of the car. So I had no choice but to let them keep it.
So next I bought a 350Z from AutoNation Nissan. It burned so much oil that I was literally adding a quart every 300 miles. A month and a half later, it threw a rod and I had to spend literally half the value of the car to replace the engine.
So to tl:dr things up, basically I went from $75k to under $8k in just two years, all because I got scammed by shady dealers three times in a row. My biggest regret is paying off my first car, instead of just letting it get repossessed and simply buying a brand new car. Live and learn. FWIW I also bought an OLED TV and built a kickass gaming PC with a 7700X and a 4090, so I didn't lose all of it without having something to show for it.
Thanks for listening. I tried to keep my story as brief as possible.
Fellow 90s kid, my parents were exactly the same. Religious background, fox news constantly, I once didn't text back within 2 hours and had a neighbor contacted via Facebook knocking on my door in my 30s (to be fair I work on call so it's atypical). I got lectured at 18 for buying an m rated game in front of them... Police report was a bit much; but I you aren't alone.
Side note I would recommend this nostalgic song: high fives - 90s kid anthem by Dr awkward