Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Personally, I would gone immediately. That said, it was a high stress, emotional, and scary situation. What's done is done, there's nothing that going back now would accomplish. If you really feel bad enough to go back and explain what happened, I would suggest a letter instead. Let's you get it off your chest, let's the owner know what happened, and doesn't risk a physical altercation because the owner is upset about you not stopping immediately.
If it makes you feel any better, I've had 3 dogs hit by cars. The first survived, the driver did not stop. A neighbor told us. The second was lost and it took me hours to find him because the driver did not stop. It was devastating, and frankly, I've never gotten over his death. He was small, though, and it was night. I work off the assumption the driver thought he was a opossum or raccoon or something.
The third was hit twice, both times the driver stopped. Both times the driver was just as upset as I was, and we comforted each other. It wasn't their fault. It was my fault for not staying in top of fence maintaince, or assuming because I live in the middle of nowhere that's it's safe to let them run. Most dog owners aren't going to blame you, unless you're driving recklessly or aiming for the dog.
You're okay. It's a horrible situation, but you didn't do it on purpose, you didn't do it out of malice. You're still a good person. Be nice to yourself and try to move past this.
Going back accomplishes being responsible.
You caused damage with your car. Damage to a life, but still, pets are considered property.
Edit also op was potentially damaged too. It's important to let the law handle it.
Driving off is the coward's path, it is also conditionally illegal. (Hit and run, property damage)
If you're worried for your safety, bring someone with you when you drop off your contact info.
I agree they should have stopped at the time. But going back after having left the scene initially accomplishes nothing of value. It may or may not be illegal. Already crossed that line. It accomplishes an arbitrary responsibility that serves nothing but upsetting the owner of the dog again. We're probably not going to agree about it, I guess. I wouldn't try to talk someone out of going back, but having been on the victim side of this (and the driver's side, with a cat, where I did stop and talk to the owner), I would not advise they go back after having already made the mistake of leaving initially. Best argument is "I had to get my kid to school" which, to the grieving family, may well sound like "my schedule was more important than your beloved pet's life." That's irrational, of course, but grief is not rational.
Unlikely, but that won't hold up if a ring camera got your plate and the sheriff arrives regarding a hit and run.