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Anyone have BPD or date anyone with it? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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so i’m dating a girl, and last night she mentioned she had BPD. i didn’t think much of it, i wasn’t familiar with it. i just started doing research and went to reddit (maybe a big mistake) just to see what ‘real life’ people were saying about it. it’s /r/BPDlovedones and it’s basically victims of people who have dated someone with BPD...

it’s currently scaring the shit out of me and kind of making me have a panic attack. there was a post saying “Any advice for someone starting to date a person with BPD?” and literally everyone said “Don’t. they’ll ruin your life. the person they are now is not who they really are. they change themselves to adjust to your personality” and it all the basic patterns align with what i’m experiencing. it’s very scary. i don’t know what to do.

edit: yeah it’s just shitty non-BPD being very hateful and resentful. very insensitive, kinda dramatic. anyway

i know reddit is infamous for having these ‘victim’ groups who hate on a certain type of people who ruined their lives, and it feels very dehumanizing. i don’t think it is impossible to date this person and i don’t want to just stop seeing them. i don’t know what to do tbh. just very overwhelmed

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Late comment but yeah, stop dating the person. They will ruin you. You are polar opposites but you don't see it because they can be so accommodating. Until they can't. They will destroy you mentally and emotionally. Even if they maybe don't want to. After 6 to 9 months they will start to invalidate you. They will hurt you just to have you chase them. Hope you are okay now, but borderline is a funny term. They have no borders. Just like you probably. Because you're mostly a kind and decent person. You need to have your own borders, unless they make your borders for you. It's like a drug addiction. How far can you go before you succumb. That's when they will discard you.

They can't help it, it's what they do. They've been hurt when they were young and this is what they do. Don't hold a grudge against them, they cannot help themselves. Save yourself.

I hope you are in a safe space now.