this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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No such thing. Ask away!

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I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, "Yeah all the time." I can't tell if it's sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we've heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Chances are, if something can be fucked or used as a dildo… somebody somewhere has done it out of horniness.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I still remember about 20 years ago a female friend told me that she masturbated using a bottle of Bawls energy drink (IDK if they even still make the stuff). It was a glass bottle that was bumpy all over (think of the divots on a golf ball, but inverse) and she apparently used it on her clit/vulva.

When I was a horny pre-teen boy and had no idea how to actually beat off, I discovered that rubbing a silk/nylon pillow with pictures of cats on it felt really good.

JD Vance fucked a couch.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Good deflection buddy. You shared, which is the important part. Progress.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Hahaha unlike my Reddit account which easily links back to me (I made it 11 years ago and didn't heavily start using it until about 6 years ago), this has zero link to me so I have no shame.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I believe hotel rooms & their contents are specifically designed around this